It must be hard being a planet: abuse from comets, space probes taking your picture without even asking your name, and that whole gravity thing – I could go on and on. The new nomenclature doesn’t help: poor old Pluto doesn’t know whether he’s Arthur or Martha. And now there are all these Trans-Neptunian Objects queueing up to join the club. Don’t they know what they’re in for? It’s a tough old universe.